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和媳妇结婚一年多了,从来没问过为什么

  NO.1

  今天我女朋友和我分手了,原因竟然是我睡觉的时候压倒了她隐形的翅膀。

  NO.2

  为了追女友,请她去KTV,我点了一首“真的爱你”结果她回了一首“一千年以后”。 在满怀沮丧的同时我急中生智点了两遍“向天再借500年”把她搞定了。

  NO.3

  老师再次给我妈打电话,说我经常上课睡觉,我妈怒了:你不要看不起那些上课睡觉的人,因为他们将来可能会赚大钱。 我滴个神哪,妈,你讲成这样人家是会误会的。

  NO.4

  和媳妇结婚一年多了,从来没问过为什么把我在她手机里的名字起成红薯,今天突然想起来了问她,她说我最爱吃红薯,瞬间很感动,一股暖流涌边全身,于是我默默的把她的名字改成了烤腰子……祝天下有情人终成眷属!

  NO.5

  我姓欧小时候我爸给我取名听说是看到一只羊疯了,所以我的名字就叫欧只羊。。。

  NO.6

  最受不了小白兔一样的男生了,觉得所有人都是好人,单纯的像个白痴。每次看到这样的男生,我就想睡.了他,让他体会到社会险恶,人心难测。

  NO.7

  悟空求那唐僧道:“师傅若肯放俺出这五行山,任何事情老孙都敢答应。”三藏想起观音大士的交待,于是清清嗓子,大声对猴子唱道:“降妖问问你敢不敢?”

  NO.8

  老师:小明,你最喜欢哪个球星,C罗还是梅西?小明:柳岩……

  NO.9

  刚才姐妹对我说,你知道最丑是什么境界吗,我看着她。只见她喝了一口啤酒说:丑的最高境界就是, 结婚多年了,初吻还在。

  NO.10

  开学了,儿子跟在我的身后,看着其他的同学穿的光鲜亮丽,再看看儿子依旧穿着我前年给他买的破旧不堪的衣服,我愧疚的问道:“儿子,你恨妈妈吗?”儿子一脸懵逼的问道:“爸爸,你说啥?”

怀才就像怀孕,时间长了才能看出来。
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