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我的手机在响。。望着身边熟睡的老公

NO.1

十年前,小学生吃辣条,大学生喝咖啡;十年后,小学生吃哈根达斯,大学生吃辣条,这都不是重点,重点是吃辣条的还是那群人。

NO.2

我是发现了, 男生摸女生头, 一般都是顺着头发轻轻捋下来, 满满都是温柔。 女生摸男生的头, 和摸狗没有任何区别...

NO.3

记得小的时候,我爸骑自行车带我,我脚卡在车轱辘里了,我爸感觉蹬不动,结果站起来蹬。

NO.4

闺蜜家玩,看她老公正抽烟闺蜜走上去“啪”的一个大嘴巴子说“你就知道抽烟,还能干啥?”只见她老公满脸委屈说:“这衣服我都洗了,饭也做好了,垃圾也扔了,卫生也清洁完了,我这不抽根烟想想寻思着还有什么没做的吗”闺蜜:“哦!那你接着抽吧”

NO.5

在公司面试成功了,财务要报两张卡的卡号,当时很不解,但还是报了。 今天发工资,一张卡进了五百,其余的全部进另外一张卡里面。 后来好奇问了同事,同事笑咪咪的说:“小伙子一看你就还没有结婚,以后可要好好跟着老板干,这年头这样的老板不好找。”

NO.6

期中考试出了一道古汉语翻译题:逝者如斯夫,不舍昼夜。老师改完考卷,很严肃地对我们说,我们班有个人翻译写:“死去的那个人好像我的丈夫,白天晚上看起来都像”。

NO.7

昨天晚上在QQ上面发了一条说说,内容是"这个社会风好大,孤独的我想回家",然后我爸在下面评论"回来吧,儿子",我看了一眼没往心里去,然后就睡觉了,第二天早上起来一看 一整排评论全特么学我爸说话,我擦 !

NO.8

他约她吃甜品看电影,可是,始终不敢有进一步的动作,连好几次碰到她的手都没有牵。天下着小雨,他们各自撑着伞在散步,她想,这个笨蛋怎么那么不主动?于是在路过小桥时,她折起自己的伞扔到河水里。他愣住了。她笑着说:你就这样让我一个人淋雨啊?他恍然大悟,,咻一声把自己的伞也丢下去了。

NO.9

女友:“你这么老把我家的毯子撕破?”男友:“爱你嘛!”女友:“什么原理?” 男友:“猜~

NO.10

我的手机在响。。望着身边熟睡的老公,他为了这个家这么的操劳,这么多的付出,我不忍心吵醒他,于是我起身走到阳台接起了电话:王哥,他睡着了,老地方。。我换个衣服就来。。。

怀才就像怀孕,时间长了才能看出来。
|   专    托    我    有    们  Q  |  
|   业    福    们    效    您  Q  |  
|   办    成    办    ,    成  ;   |  北
|   理    绩    您    内    功  1  |  美
|   国    回    所    部    的  5  |  留
|   外    国    需    办    开  3  |  学
|   文    工    尽    理    始  4  |  服
|   凭    作    我    ,    。  5  |  务
|   ,    落    其    解    请  8  |  中
|   认    户    能    决    在  4  |  心
|   证    ,     ,   回    线  6  |
|   ,    考    竭    国    联  9  |
|   使    公    诚    疑    系  8  |
|   馆    务    服    难    办  长 |
|   证    员    务    ,    理  期 |
|   明    无    !    牵    ~   有 |
|   雅    忧    真    手    ~   效 |
|   思    。    实    我

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